My Completely Unfounded Bachelor 2017 Predictions

CORRINE, RAVEN, SARAH, LAUREN, LACEY, SUSANNAH, ANGELA, DOMINIQUE, ALEXIS, ELIZABETH W., KRISTINA, OLIVIA, BRIANA, NICK VIALL, DANIELLE M., WHITNEY, JASMINE, JAIMI, IDA MARIE, VANESSA, TAYLOR, HAILEY, RACHEL, BRITTANY, ASTRID, CHRISTEN, JOSEPHINE, ELIZABETH "LIZ", MICHELLE, DANIELLE L., JASMINE G.

Let’s get this out of the way. I am addicted to the Bachelor Franchise.

It’s a very roller-coaster-y love/hate relationship that I have with the Bachelor. I hate the fact that I watch every single episode of every show, and become emotionally invested in every contestant’s life. I hate that I feel the need to follow all their Instagram pages to keep tabs on them. I hate the fact that I slip so easily into the detective role, tasking myself to find out if all the couples are still together, months and months later. However, I love the contestants, the back stories, the beautiful dresses, the drama, the handsome men (lookin’ at you Luke Pell), the ugly cries (lookin’ at you Ashley Iaconetti). I love debriefing after every episode with fellow addicts. I hate that I love wasting so much time on these people.

Alas, what better way to indulge myself than to write about it?

I usually crack an episode or two into every season (or sooner) into checking Reality Steve for some sort of spoilers. If I’m strong enough to avoid the spoilers, Instagram gets me. I follow all the contestants, and then read the comments on their photos which usually provides all the information I need.

This season, I am going to exercise my self-discipline (we’ll see).

I will NOT:

  • Check Reality Steve
  • Follow Contestants on Instagram

However, I WILL:

  • Watch every episode
  • Debrief with friends + write about
  • Talk about it to my boyfriend for as long as I can (x0)

 

Here are my predictions for the season with The Bachelor, Nick Viall. Based on only the contestant’s photos.

First Impression Rose:

bachelor first impression rose

Corinne, 24, business owner, Miami, FL

She is blonde, and historically speaking, that takes ya places.

Gets Drunk and Sent Home:

bachelor drunk and sent home

Josephine, 24, registered nurse, Santa Cruz, CA

Shoulders out for the boys. She looks like’s ready to party.

First One-on-One Date:

bachelor first one on one date

Kristina, 24, dental hygienist, Lexington, KY

Bonus: they’ll end up on a helicopter, plane, or air balloon. TBD.

First One to Cry:

bachelor aspiring dolphin trainer

Alexis, 23, aspiring dolphin trainer, Secaucus, NJ

I feel like this young, aspiring dolphin trainer has a lot of emotion.

The Villain

the bachelor villain

Hailey, 23, photographer, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Just look at her face and tell me I’m wrong… Very Taylor Swifty

The One who Put Up Walls and Needs to Open Up

the bachelor walls

Jasmine B., 25, flight attendant, Tacoma, WA

Don’t be scared Jazzy.

Final Four

the bachelor final four

Lauren, 30, law school graduate, Naples, FL

the bachelor final four

Whitney, 25, Pilates instructor, Chanhassen, MN

the bachelor final four

Danielle L., 27, small business owner, Los Angeles, CA

the bachelor final four

Danielle M., 31, neonatal nurse, Nashville, TN

This was such a shot in the dark.

The Final Rose

the bachelor final four

Danielle L., 27, small business owner, Los Angeles, CA

Congrats Danielle! You seem like you are destined for Insta Fame and flat tummy tea posts. I will probably like all your photos.

And do they last?

Yes – just until Nick gets offered some sort of spin-off show.

 

Do you agree with any of my predictions?? It starts tonight, so happy watching!

 

 

 

 

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